Just Not Her Thing
by Fyuu
Summary: This… this was definitely not her thing. But him…? He was totally her thing. Very slight Garrus/Shep(F) One Shot


**Just Not Her Thing**

Infiltration wasn't her thing. Sneaking, deceiving, flirting with a known enemy weren't her thing. Direct confrontation, a bullet in the head when needed, and diplomacy when it saved lives, that was her thing.

But here she was, near naked in her cabin staring down at the articles of clothing tossed haphazardly about her bed, all of it new, which begot the question of how Kasumi knew her sizes. The bra with the still attached tags guaranteed to give at least two cups sizes, and still look natural. The shoes too were new, flats were her usual dress shoe of choice and when she did happen to wear heels... well they certainly had nothing on these black stilettos both tall and thin she feared if she gained even a pound they'd snap beneath her weight.

But she had agreed, been forced to really if she wanted the thief's help in dealing with the current threat to the galactic community- the collectors.

And so she "took one for the team", slipping on her undergarments, watching with dry amusement as they began to inflate and silently hoping the fitted black dress would fit over her... enhancements. She breathed in a sigh of relief as the little black dress fit, a bit snug up top but nothing terrible. Trudging her way to the bathroom she took a look in the mirror turning this way and that, filling a bit with womanly pride as she appraised what she saw.

"Perhaps not as pretty as Miranda or hell even Jack but it'll do." She muttered to herself.

"I'm hurt Shep!" Bemoaned the figure now sprawled across her bed. Kasumi Goto not only a thief but a master thief. "You don't think I'm pretty?" She pouted her lips the only thing visible beneath the hood, Shepard assumed she ate, slept, and bathed in. "Though you should give yourself more credit you certainly clean up damn well." Sheprad snorted before making her way over to her desk scooping up the necessities in making her more feminine. "Shep, I want to thank you again for helping me."

She paused in her application of her eyeliner popping her head outside the bathroom and locking eyes with Kasumi's. "Kasumi you are a part of this team now, if I have to prance around with air bags on my chest, and walk on toothpicks too gain your trust and loyalty, well it's certainly not the worst thing I've ever had to do."

She laughed. "I can believe that." As Shepard stepped out from the bathroom Kasumi took a moment to look the commander over. She hadn't been lying when she told Shepard she looked good. Her normal peridot green eyes stood out more than normal as they were now framed darkly with the liner, her strawberry blonde hair which normally hit her shoulder -when it wasn't tightly coiled in a bun- had also gone through a transformation, not losing too much of its length in the front - only an inch or so- and gradually shortening in the back until it was barely three inches long, it was messy but a fashionably so. With help from the bra Shepard's normally average figure, her tiny waist flaring out to agreeable hips being her only true feminine feature, became the epitome of femininity. Her strange scars that mapped across her face were well hidden from view, and her full lips were lightly tinted pink and glossed. "You know I don't think I've ever noticed how scarred you really are." She rolled over giving Shepard the room she needed to sit and finagle the heels on. "Your back is practically a road map."

"A road map huh? Where do you think it leads?"

"Buried treasure?" That gained her a snort. Once the commander finished strapping into the heels Kasumi ordered her to stand and do a few rounds around the cabin. It wasn't long before she was practically rolling around in pure hysterics. "Shepard your gait! You walk like a man!"

She huffed uncomfortably arms crossed and a natural blush spreading across her face like wildfire. "Forgive me if I'm not exactly the perfect woman."

"Well I suppose if all you have to do is stand there and look pretty for Hock then we've got this in the bag."

"And the chances of that are what?"

"Oh most certainly in the negatives."

"So standard fare."

"Mmm."

"I do have a pair of flats on board."

"Those things are hideous and so completely worn out, people's eyes will be on your feet and not your boobs!"

"And that's a bad thing how?" A pause. "Wait you've been through my things?"

"Of course. I'm a thief Shep, how else am I supposed to keep my skills up to par while on the Normandy? Besides I wanted to learn more about you." She watched as Shepard massaged her temples with no lack of amusement. "C'mon haven't you ever had to wear heels to a formal occasion, or hell walked around in your moms' heels for shits and giggles?"

"I'm a colony kid; I don't think my mom even owned a pair of heels, let alone monsters like these."

"Well then no time like the present to learn." Shepard began dreading the next hour as Kasumi cackled.

* * *

"You really should dress like this more often." Was the last bit of the conversation the rest of the crew caught as the two women stepped off the elevator and into the briefing room.

"And where exactly would I be putting my gun? I can think of a few places but they all seem to be... uncomfortable."

"Well Shepard if you're looking for a gun to stow up your dress, I've got a shotgun, locked and loaded and ready for you." Zaeed's tone and grin told her all she needed to know about his meaning and how he had taken her comment. And so she eyed him for a moment before taking on a grin of her own, and peering at the mercenary through lidded eyes. She took slow purposeful steps towards him and the rest of her squad, crossing her legs in front of each other and adding a bit of sway too her hips as Kasumi had spent the past hour or so teaching her.

Reaching the briefing table she leaned forward on her forearms making sure to press her arms together to give herself a bit more cleavage. Her grin widen just a bit as his eyes left her face and began wandering south. "My my Zaeed a shotgun you say! What a big. Powerful. _Gun_ you have." She snickered internally as the rest of her squad just watched the exchanged with varying degrees of surprise. She paid extra attention to Garrus. "It is unfortunate however that shotguns need so much... pump action "A crude gestured accompanied the words." Just to ready them. And then they're finishes... so messy." Again she flicked her eyes to Garrus, who was shifting uncomfortably next to Jack who had no trouble hiding her amusement. "I prefer precision. Accuracy. A sniper rifle."

Zaeed leaned forward nearly nose to nose with her. "I've one of those too. And I promise you I've enough experience too know how to use it."

She pushed away from the table the lazy grin still lighting her face. "Good then you've enough experience to continue to tend to your own... _gun_." Hips swaying she sauntered her way back to laughing Kasumi. "Besides I prefer my Snipers to be of the Turian variety." A small smile lifted her lips as she locked eyes with said Turian for a brief moment before the automatic doors slid closed removing him from view.

But not from earshot.

"Uh- uh I uh I think … yeah uh calibrations."

"So… you and Garrus huh?" Her green eyes trailed back to Kasumi as a grin spread across her face.

"Maybe, you know whenever he finally finishes those calibrations."

* * *

I know not the update you guys were looking for but the motherboard on my computer just up and died so... yeah... my parents are working on getting everything off the hard drive so cross you figures.

Anyway this little one shot has been sitting on my other computer for years... literally years, not sure why I never posted it but here it is. XP


End file.
